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What do you think about this soldiers letter?

From: J.D. Englehart, (Former) SPC. 1st Infantry Division Sent: January 14, 2006 People often ask me, "If you are so against the war and couldn't stand the army, why did you ever join in the first place?" I have answered the same every time, that perhaps I was naïve, that I wanted a chance to see the world and earn college money. Or that I felt trapped in a dead-end town and needed a chance to escape, or that I was curious to live life as a soldier and gain military knowledge. These answers are never enough for some people, yet so many young Americans end up in the military the same exact way. I understand that I joined just prior to September 11, 2001. Indeed, I was naïve then to think that we lived in a somewhat peaceful world. Soldiers at that time joined for other reasons. Maybe soldiers who join now are ones who want to fight in a war. After much personal debate, I have learned that my resistance to war and empire was forged by the army itself. Since the very beginning of my four year military experience, I was simply a very different soldier. In basic training, instead of attending church service with the rest of the privates for two hours of relaxation, I was in the barracks mopping the floors and cleaning toilets. I would not fake a belief in god for petty rewards. While other soldiers were marching in rank and file to eat chow, I was off to the side, being smoked by a drill sergeant--doing pushups and flutter-kicks--for refusing to yell out cadence like a dopey high school cheerleader. As time went by, it never got any easier. I had a very hard time with the concept of conformity. While other soldiers in the barracks were watching porno's and hitting the beer bong with their frat-buddies, I was sitting on my bunk in a dark corner of a room reading Noam Chomsky. Instead of spending endless hours spit-shining my boots or ironing my BDU's, I was playing punk riffs on my guitar or perhaps writing poetry. I would routinely skip out on company "mandatory fun days" and go back to my room and sleep. Beetle Bailey was my hero. Instead of spending every weekend going to the same mundane hip-hop clubs and discos, starting fights and trying to get laid, I was backpacking across Europe with other like-minded friends. We traveled way beyond the limits that a mileage pass would allow. We were openly learning about other cultures, exploring a great unknown, and living life to the fullest while we had it. Instead of hating Iraqis for their strange ways and resentful behavior, I was trying to imagine the world in which they lived, even before an unwelcome US occupation forced them to live in a war zone. While other soldiers were bragging about how many hajis they had waxed in the last engagement, I was carefully pondering what the longtime ramifications would be for such inane bloodshed. Instead of coming back from missions and going straight to the PlayStation, I was writing what I saw and how I felt on this blog. It is true that I was a very different breed in the army. However, there were others like me. We were far and few between, we were misfits in an olive-drab green hell. We solidified, became friends, and became brothers. Most of the soldiers in my platoon were this way, outcasts. We opposed the war, sometimes openly. We were never persecuted for our beliefs because, although we were angry, we were a whole. We were a group of covert-subverts and our chain of command hated it. I came home from Iraq and was awarded combat spurs, a glorious achievement for a cavalry scout. I contemplated the true meaning of these spurs, this icon of war. Spurs that were worn by soldiers on horses; who rode with General Custer and decimated the American Indian population. Spurs painted with the blood of five major wars of the 20th century, some wars to fight empire and others to promote it. What would I do with these spurs? I decided to hold on to them. They meant much more than archaic tradition and a turbulent history. Somehow they meant comradery and friendship. My brothers-in-arms and I had earned them together, and they symbolize a token of deep understanding of a past we will share together, until the day we die. Today's public thinks that every American soldier fighting in Iraq supports the war and that his/her morale and trust in command is very high. However, in my experience, this was simply not true. I encountered dissent on many levels (For one example, see post below: Free Speech for Soldiers, Sept.21, 2004). Even soldiers who supported the army and loved their job hated being in a conflict they could not understand. Some soldiers did understand, and were resentful for it. The morale for the majority of our brigade was relatively low. I rarely met anyone who wanted to fight in Iraq, and the only ones who truly wanted to stay were the high echelon officers who seemed more concerned about their careers than the overall mission. Some may wonder where these disgruntled soldiers are. I believe that they are a part of every social fabric of our country. I've certainly met more angry veterans than I have boastful ones. Some missing limbs, some missing friends, others missing innocence. Angry and confused. Cannot find the healthcare they need. Cannot find jobs. Can no longer find a place to fit in our society. Some of these soldiers are still in the military and fear repercussions of speaking out. Soldiers who served several missions in Iraq and want no more. Soldiers tied to the war machine with no hope of escape. They wait for their day of freedom, hoping to avoid another stop-loss. They want out before death takes them first. So many silent voices and whispered stories. I know one veteran who refuses to talk about his experience because he thinks no one will understand and it won't change anything anyways. Another veteran I know candy-coats his experience so he won't disappoint his conservative family members. These soldiers are everywhere, but choose to remain silent because they fear ostracism from a war crazed, jingoistic public. The media plays with everyone's mind, convincing everyone that everything is okay as long as you trust in the government's overall plans for victory in Iraq. But when one asks a veteran for the truth, this optimistic fairy tale of ultimate victory seems a hard pill to swallow. I am not trying to speak for every soldier and veteran. I know that there are those out there who support the war effort and feel good about being in Iraq. However, in my experience, I have not met too many who feel this way. There is a rising tide of antiwar sentiments growing in this country. Fifty-two percent of America now feels it was not worth going to war with Iraq, while fifty-eight percent disapprove of Bush's handling of the war, and now a whopping fifty-three percent actually support a Bush impeachment. (CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll/Zogby Poll. Jan. 6-8, 2006). One would have to wonder how these polls might look if more and more soldier accounts were brought to the public's attention. There is a truth that lies buried under the Pentagon propaganda machine and the misinformation provided by corporate media and a dishonest administration, and that truth lies in the experience of combat soldiers. In the end I know that my experience may have been different, or that maybe I was a very different kind of soldier. But it was the army that molded my contempt for authority and distrust of a feudalistic government that pulls the strings. Through my army involvement I met others like me who felt much of the same way. We were dissidents, but never un-American. On the contrary, we knew the difference between following orders and thinking for ourselves. Ultimately, there is no difference between love for one's country and the willingness to oppose a government that institutes war, fear and oppression on any level. There are many soldiers and veterans who share the same feelings as me and others I met along the way. Some are even in the ranks of the military. Someday all the soldiers will come home and when they do, their stories and sentiments will follow. Only then will a better understanding of the truth be known. -- J.D. Englehart

Public Comments

  1. "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." H.L.Mencken
  2. As a former soldier i can agree with parts of the letter. I dont think that it is fair, or safe to assume that most young people who join the military are naive,I joined after Sept. 11, so i knew what was to come. i wasnt in a dead-end town, i didnt need the college money. i joined because after Sept. 11 happend i felt that it was what i was supposed to do, my dad, my grandfather serviced this country, so it was a questioin of "if they did it then why shouldnt i". i admit that it was hard to conform to what they wanted, to change my way of thinking and adpot theirs(i dont think i ever did). i wanted to speak out, and say i didnt agree with this, or i didnt agree with that. In the begining i was afraid, i didnt want my follow soldiers to think that i was different from them. so i didnt speak my mind, i was always the quite one, but as time went on and my military career grew i realized that i was going about it all wrong. the reason the military is what it is today is because we have soldiers who speak their minds, who arent afraid to say things, who are not afraid of change. the military needs this, if we just had robots then no one could lead when they needed them to, no one could step up and take charge in a deadly situation. i dont agree with the war, i never have and never will, but to me, its not a question of if you agree with the war or not as a soldier. its who will protect my family,the freedoms that i take advantage of as an American,its will you support, will you protect your follow soldier who has gone through basic training, who has been through all the bull**** that you have, that soldier who stands by you, even the "disgruntaled soldiers", its about the bond that you and your follow soldiers have and no one else can understand. no civilan can understand what a soldier goes thourgh, what they have been though, thats a secert shared by only the soldiers and no one can take that away from them.i may not agree with everyting the letter says, but as i follow soldier i understand it and i can respect it. i say bravo to J.D. Englehart for writing this letter, for saying what is on is mind and so many other soldiers. to me this is what American needs, to hear different truths and realize even as a soldier you do have an opinion.
  3. I think that his letter is good.If he was good enough to go and fight for us then we should be really nice to him.So. i think that the letter makes alot of sense to me.
  4. Very brave that went but I'm sorry that he resents it. It sounds to me like he needs to put it behind him and move on. I wouldn't judge the war or what's going on in this country on a letter written by an individual. That's only one opinion, because he is a soldier his opinion does not mean more than any other American.
  5. Written by a friend One who still have feelings Guys who can see the truth like him are Heros. Respect People like this guy prove us that there is still chances for peace around the world. Sometimes the view of the war by some people makes me laugh, have you ever seen ruined abandoned cities? Beautiful cities full of people they were. If you see one you will understand what this guy means. Have you lost relatives in a war? friends? teachers? people you know? What about a limb? Do you know these people who are killed in Iraq are humans like you, they have families like you? When you talking about Iraq do you know that you are talking about one of the oldest civilizations of earth? Have you ever heard of Babylon? it was there when even europe wasn't count as a civilized territory.
  6. I don't think he should have joined the army in the first place.
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